Unknown Fear

I know you’re out there
I’ve felt you most of my life…
Lurking around the corners and in the shadows
Slithering your way into my mind.
For so long you’ve kept me running
Running away from where I was supposed to be
Running away from things I was supposed to see
You kept me so afraid that I missed so many opportunities.
You were always unknown… but somehow I knew who you were.
“What if I can’t do it?” You’d whisper in my ear.
“What if I fail?”
I used to buy into your manipulating suggestions
And your downright bullying
Anytime I tried to press through.
I remember how I used to feel… so afraid
Like I couldn’t do anything but fail.
I felt so inadequate… so small
Unprepared.
Vulnerable… naked.
Yes. I remember how you used to make me feel
Like I was supposed to live my whole life in you…
Fear.
You lied to me! But that’s what you do.
Never would I have guessed in a thousand lifetimes
That it is really you who are afraid.
Terrified of me – That I would fulfill the exact purpose
For which I was created.

From the book: Transition: Breaking Through the Barriers, Pg. 101
Written by: Allen Paul Weaver III
Published by: IUniverse June 2006